Slowly, gingerly, something appeared on the edge of the abyss. Fingers first, callused from typing. Then an elbow, covered in ink, paint, and syrup sponge pudding. For a moment, that seemed to be the end of it. But no; with a noise not unlike an elephant stubbing its toe, up came a head. Finally awakened from her post-BRIT Awards depression, the creature known as Molly dragged herself back up into Blogland, where she promptly collapsed with exhaustion.
Hello! Long time no see! Have you done something with your hair? You look spectacular! What's that? I look like I've been carried through hell on the back of a hedgehog? I'm flattered. Although it was a porcupine, not a hedgehog, but then you're from the city and can't tell the difference, poor baby.
Best Male Solo Artist: Ed Sheeran. Well, I said I expected him to win, didn't I? Nevertheless (I love that word, it's three words at once and it rocks) nevertheless, I'm disappointed.
Best Female Solo Artist: Adele. Well, none of us expected that, did we? Because she's an eloquent, unappreciated young woman, who really needs the sales boost because otherwise she'll be having to crash at her friends house.
British Breakthrough: Ed Sheeran. Yes, him again.
British Group: Coldplay. Oh well. I'm not in the business of bashing a group simply because they're posh, so I'll leave it there.
British Single: One Direction, What Makes You Beautiful. AH HA HA HA! HA HA HA! Oh, wait they're serious.
Album Of The Year: Adele. FFS.
International Male Solo Artist: Bruno Mars. Must. Resist. Urge. To. Punch. Computer.
International Female Solo Artist: Rihanna. Proof if proof were needed that the official BRIT Awards dictionary does not contain the word "talented"
International Group: Foo Fighters. Ok, they can have it, I'm not that bothered. Davey seems to be a nice guy, and it's better they have it than Lady Antebellum.
International Breakthrough: Lana Del Rey. I quite like Video Games, so there's a turn up for the books.
Molly x
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